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The interesting thing about being back in school, and having to leave my house at 5 am, is that it has thrown my entire sleep pattern into a chaotic mess of thinking about school all night and having to fight sleeping through it all day. Like when I had young children, taking a quick nap means having a wall to lean against.

Dilemma one- I’ve given up trying to stick to only a couple coffees a week and now try to stick to only a couple a day. The coffee shops surround the campus like flies on poo, making the biggest difficulty for acquiring a caffeine fix deciding whether you’re willing to stand in line for 20 minutes at the Tim Hortons or would rather get the Starbucks treatment and have your Latte handed to you instantly for merely double the cost and the skill testing question of what the damn size is called. Unfortunately for me, I am actually mildly allergic to coffee so I get the added question of how much skin cream am I willing to use?

Dilemma two- As I am a bit of a dinosaur in the electronics department, I do not own a digital recording device or any object which would allow me to record the TV shows that I am missing by going to bed at 8:30ish, so occasionally I go to bed later then I should and curse the networks for making 10:00 part of prime-time. Can’t mothers enjoy watching Nathan Fillion solve crimes too? And as eager as I was for Warehouse 13 to come to Canada, there’s no way I can afford to stay up until eleven when I have math at eight the next morning. Math made my brain hurt eighteen years ago when I last took it in high school. It’s bad enough without having to ask my 15 year old daughter to help me out.

Dilemma three- If I actually get my ass to bed early, my husband gets all excited about the schedule and starts getting ready to go to sleep too. And yes, I do mean sleeping; getting older and having kids makes decent sleep become that holy grail of achievement, and shouldn’t I want to share that with my husband? Actually, the conversation went more like this.

Me- “No Dear, you’re missing the point. You’re supposed to be the one staying up and making sure the kids get to bed on time.”

Husband- “But I want to go to bed too.”

Me- “Except I have to sleep, and if you come to bed then you’ll want to cuddle, and you’ll toss and turn and then in half an hour you’ll get up to use the facilities and get a snack.”

Husband- “Well fine, I can tell when I’m not wanted.”

So I responded, “I’ll want you again on the weekend. Goodnight.”

I don’t think that was at all what he wanted to hear but I’m really too tired to care.